Letters from The Beast

An ambulances drove me to the hospital My visitor a cop I called for help all sorts of questions about what happened before I dialed 911 what was going on what was the fun I told him the truth I was being seduced I told him what I had done and how you tried to kill me Your hands around my throat until it looked like the fuzzy I got to that point of darkness When the fists came barreling down I don’t know why you stopped I told him all of this I told him I came after you that you grabbed my wrists so he took me away we made a pitstop first to the domestic violence clinic room she stripped me down took pictures of my shame I was so going to jail that night 8 o’clock in the morning we pulled into fourth street jail thank God I knew someone you don’t want to be with general population Isolation 12 hours I sat Peanut butter and an orange I didn’t shake I didn’t scream I just sat there replaying the scene I called 911

There were two times that you found me in the woods with the boys there were two times that we didn’t speak a word about what was happening one time The first time you found me with five boys I was seven they were 13 they had a porno magazine showing me different parts different pages different scenes I was the girl in these magazines this is what you do this is who you are this is how you’ll be treated They would say The second time you found me Was with only one boy I was walking through the woods alone with my toy I didn’t even see him sitting there Until he smack the toy out of my hand broken on the floor he put his hand in my pants yanked me toward him all I was seeing the broken toy on the ground I don’t know how long had passed before you showed up you screamed something I couldn’t hear could’ve been stop Put him in a panic saying I was helping her pee I was too old for that need both of these times we did

Dear Arizona Board of Education, For two years I have been working on my masters degree while trying to get national board certified. During this time my husband started a new business and is not home most days until after 10pm. Our two children and I barely see him. I found out recently that my sister-in-law and her husband are getting a divorce and so is my own sister. Two divorces in one year. Our families are incredibly close and this has had a major impact on all of us. I graduated ASU but failed board certification. I felt proud and disappointed. I had never failed anything in my life. I earned the promotion I wanted so I threw myself into the position in order to escape the roller coaster of emotions I was experiencing in my personal life. I felt like I was losing every branch of my family.      At the end of the year I was told the school district no longer had the budget for instructional coaches and the position was being eliminated. I was losing the job I had worke

Dear Aaron, What was it you said Something about punctuation and poetry I never did that so well I had run on sentences And couldn’t spell. Let me introduce myself, I suck Ever since I learned the ABC’s They asked me my favorite subject Spelling I wrote with one L I never could forget how cute and funny it was Words run on and on and on Spelling with one L was all the buzz Till this day Red lines, blue lines, what the fuck is that green Shit, fuck….I suck Dear Aaron, I hid my diary like a dirty secret nightly I needed my fix I would do it in the dark, alone,   Behind locked doors, drawn blinds Way beyond being grown Spilling secrets and dreams Shit, fuck...I suck Dear Aaron In high school I didn’t pass the state exam In college I needed some extra classes As a professional I need a proofreader, Shit, fuck...I suck Dear Aaron, At the age of 25 I threw it all out I couldn’t take it anymore Such hate and se

What makes you happy, He asked each member of the class. I sat in the back, I was the one who wore black had a whole lot of sass. What makes you happy, The answers started in cars, money, girls. I could feel it begin. The room filled with sounds of agreement, Yea Right that’s what I say. I sat in the back, Thinking no way. The question went on the answers remained Unchanged from basic Oh my disdain. A pounding in my head From the lies that were said. Do they even know what happiness means? How could we be so blind To the truth and the dreams? Finally the question has gotten to me. Should I run and hide Ask to go pee? No I’ll answer. I tell them the truth. What makes you happy he asked It seemed so simple What else could it be Liking yourself, completes me. Blank stares, some angry grins. Then it starts, the laughing begins. Professor you started, The lies, The laughter The avoidance. You