WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT

Dear Arizona Board of Education,

For two years I have been working on my masters degree while trying to get national board certified. During this time my husband started a new business and is not home most days until after 10pm. Our two children and I barely see him. I found out recently that my sister-in-law and her husband are getting a divorce and so is my own sister. Two divorces in one year. Our families are incredibly close and this has had a major impact on all of us.

I graduated ASU but failed board certification. I felt proud and disappointed. I had never failed anything in my life. I earned the promotion I wanted so I threw myself into the position in order to escape the roller coaster of emotions I was experiencing in my personal life. I felt like I was losing every branch of my family.     

At the end of the year I was told the school district no longer had the budget for instructional coaches and the position was being eliminated. I was losing the job I had worked for but even worse I was losing the family I had relied on to stay with me, the school I had worked at for 10 years. The only thing I wasn’t losing was a paycheck.

The following week I had found out my friend and mentor, the women who helped me heal had gone to bed with a sinus infection and never woke up again. At the same time I was diagnosed with underactive thyroid and prescribed testosterone.

I am explaining all of this to you because on the night of my arrest, I had been drinking; however, it was not the alcohol alone that brought me over the edge I had never in my 38 years of life piled on so much stresses at one time. Both charges, felony aggravated assault and misdemeanor assault, were due to stress, alcohol and testosterone. The mix led me to attack my husband which led him to become defensive. It was me who called 911 that night.

I have since stopped taking the testosterone and I have found natural ways to help me deal with each situation in my life. I am confident this will never occur again. The charges have been dropped by the city and I would appreciate the opportunity to have clearance again to go back into the classroom.

Thank you for your consideration.

At least that’s the story I told the state.

All of it is true but not all of it is told.

On the night of my arrest we were drinking at the house with a bunch of friends. People started to leave for the night and one couple was so hammered they needed me and a friend to drive them home, she drove their car and I drove my own. After we got them to their house and safely inside, we were standing in the driveway laughing about the night and SHE leaned in and kissed me. My brain stopped and we got in the car. I began to drive the car home she began to run her tongue along my neck. I didn’t look over, my body was on fire.

When I parked the car in my driveway she grabbed me, all of me. She put her hands in places my husband didn’t...we made our way into the backyard where my husband was waiting for us? He didn’t seem phased by what was happening in front of him. I felt like I was cheating on my husband but he was enjoying it. I let myself be touched everywhere. The feeling of warm ecstacy came over me and I was drowning in pleasure. When I surfaced for air I realized I was not alone and that there were three of us.

Even drunk I knew something was not right about this night. I was married and I … we were cheating? I asked HER to leave.

SHE just looked at me.

I asked her to leave again.

Then I realized she was sitting next to him and I was not, neither of them were making a move to see her out. He was growing angry, I walked away dazed and confused, he soon came after me. There was a knife in my hand but it went over his shoulder as my wrists were grabed and I was thrown against the wall. Then he wrapped his hands around my neck until I went dark. The next thing I remember was the feeling of my skull bounce off the tile floor then I saw was a fist barreling down. The impact to my jaw was more of a sensation then pain. It felt like happily ever after shattering into blood covered shards of glass.

I dialed 911

The police asked questions and all that mattered was I came after him with a knife. They didn’t pay attention to the bruises as they first drove me to the hospital and then the domestic violence clinic. While I sat in solitary confinement for 12 hours I still thought this was my fault.

I couldn’t piece together why the two of them watched me get into the police car, handcuffed and all as I watched them turn towards the house, walk to the door, enter it and close it behind them before the police car even drove off.