Believe
Dear G,
I have some things I think you should clear up with the masses. This hate crap is getting out of hand. These people actually think they are serving you by being assholes. Is it the chemicals in our food or are they just genuinely confused? I was laying in the bed the other night and like most nights I had a head full of thoughts. I started to type in my notes section about confidence. It started simple. My own little ah ha moments.
I have never wanted to be perceived as arrogant or cocky. Growing up in NY, rather Long Island there is a lot of false confidence that had me spinning my head as a kid. Financial and social status was a coat of confidence most people wore and they wore it loud and proud. Another box I didn't fit into. So here I was asking myself late at night, how can I be happy without being an arrogant prick?
Then I genuinely laughed at myself.
Judging others in any form is not happiness, confidence or right. Hate and judgement is only one thing FEAR! I will not appear like an arrogant prick because I am working on the things that cause me self doubt and looking inwardly to heal that human illusion.
I started this post awhile back and I never finished it. I think I became annoyed at the human race and all the hate and fear.
Here is today's update:
G,
The conscious stream of thought today just keeps going. I am downloading a ton of information and I am grateful to be going into 2018 this way. In 2015 I stood up and killed the Beast. In 2016 I dug down deep to uncover the roots the beast had grown from. 2017 I forgave myself and allowed my truth to blossom.
At the end of 2017 I had a few last minute realizations:
I had always been afraid to embrace confidence because I had a belief that confident people were cocky and obnoxious. I realized the difference between confidence and cockiness was a real, deep, connection to a higher self love.
I had always been afraid to embrace my own spiritual beliefs for fear of judgement. I realized I will never have to explain my connection or my lack of box when I don't feel comfortable because I have the connection in my heart, a deep feeling of self love that grew from over coming (well straight up facing and walking through) all my biggest fears.
I began to notice anytime I became angry (hunger not included) fear was at the core of the anger. In times that I tried to focus on manifestation and positive attraction and felt less then joyful I asked myself why. What I found is that I was trying to focus on something I was already afraid of in a positive way. Let me explain:
I was trying to focus on abundance and being a money magnet. All my thoughts, positive affirmations, visualizations were not bringing a feeling of joy. I asked myself out loud (and responded out loud, basically I was talking to myself) why was I not feeling joy while thinking about abundance. I realized I was still focused on abundance simply because I was afraid I would run out. I couldn't feel joy about being a millionaire and being able to travel or feel financial freedom because I didn't truly believe it. I was still operating from an old habit of fear and fear motivation. Needless to say I talked myself out of that.
Fear really has controlled my life in subtle and over the top ways. Fear prays on our every emotion and American corporations perpetuate, pray on and feed this fear. Confidence is about the ability to appreciate our differences its also about the ability to appreciate your own.
How do we move on from this field of fear we have played on for so long? I believe it is in forgiveness. Forgiveness can be about confidence. When you no longer fear and when you have that deep loving connection, you can really start to let go. Let go of the anger, let go of the battle, let go of others pain and insecurity.
People may try to challenge your happiness. Confidence will allow you to forgive them as they charge at you. Just a few times now I have noticed myself getting angry and blaming the situation or whatever for my anger quickly I realized nope the anger is coming from fear and then the real conversation began. As soon as I let myself sit in the fear I acknowledged what I was afraid of and I was able to overcome it. If I had just been angry...well...I would never be able to move into joy.
I have some things I think you should clear up with the masses. This hate crap is getting out of hand. These people actually think they are serving you by being assholes. Is it the chemicals in our food or are they just genuinely confused? I was laying in the bed the other night and like most nights I had a head full of thoughts. I started to type in my notes section about confidence. It started simple. My own little ah ha moments.
I have never wanted to be perceived as arrogant or cocky. Growing up in NY, rather Long Island there is a lot of false confidence that had me spinning my head as a kid. Financial and social status was a coat of confidence most people wore and they wore it loud and proud. Another box I didn't fit into. So here I was asking myself late at night, how can I be happy without being an arrogant prick?
Then I genuinely laughed at myself.
Judging others in any form is not happiness, confidence or right. Hate and judgement is only one thing FEAR! I will not appear like an arrogant prick because I am working on the things that cause me self doubt and looking inwardly to heal that human illusion.
I started this post awhile back and I never finished it. I think I became annoyed at the human race and all the hate and fear.
Here is today's update:
G,
The conscious stream of thought today just keeps going. I am downloading a ton of information and I am grateful to be going into 2018 this way. In 2015 I stood up and killed the Beast. In 2016 I dug down deep to uncover the roots the beast had grown from. 2017 I forgave myself and allowed my truth to blossom.
At the end of 2017 I had a few last minute realizations:
I had always been afraid to embrace confidence because I had a belief that confident people were cocky and obnoxious. I realized the difference between confidence and cockiness was a real, deep, connection to a higher self love.
I had always been afraid to embrace my own spiritual beliefs for fear of judgement. I realized I will never have to explain my connection or my lack of box when I don't feel comfortable because I have the connection in my heart, a deep feeling of self love that grew from over coming (well straight up facing and walking through) all my biggest fears.
I began to notice anytime I became angry (hunger not included) fear was at the core of the anger. In times that I tried to focus on manifestation and positive attraction and felt less then joyful I asked myself why. What I found is that I was trying to focus on something I was already afraid of in a positive way. Let me explain:
I was trying to focus on abundance and being a money magnet. All my thoughts, positive affirmations, visualizations were not bringing a feeling of joy. I asked myself out loud (and responded out loud, basically I was talking to myself) why was I not feeling joy while thinking about abundance. I realized I was still focused on abundance simply because I was afraid I would run out. I couldn't feel joy about being a millionaire and being able to travel or feel financial freedom because I didn't truly believe it. I was still operating from an old habit of fear and fear motivation. Needless to say I talked myself out of that.
Fear really has controlled my life in subtle and over the top ways. Fear prays on our every emotion and American corporations perpetuate, pray on and feed this fear. Confidence is about the ability to appreciate our differences its also about the ability to appreciate your own.
How do we move on from this field of fear we have played on for so long? I believe it is in forgiveness. Forgiveness can be about confidence. When you no longer fear and when you have that deep loving connection, you can really start to let go. Let go of the anger, let go of the battle, let go of others pain and insecurity.
People may try to challenge your happiness. Confidence will allow you to forgive them as they charge at you. Just a few times now I have noticed myself getting angry and blaming the situation or whatever for my anger quickly I realized nope the anger is coming from fear and then the real conversation began. As soon as I let myself sit in the fear I acknowledged what I was afraid of and I was able to overcome it. If I had just been angry...well...I would never be able to move into joy.
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