I'm Listening

Dear G,

I heard you say three things to me recently. You told me that we need to be united. Without the unity of family, friends and the heart we will let the fear win. I heard you tell me that peace is on its way. You have told me to let myself feel the anger when the anger happens. You’ve told me to accept it and then let it go. You are telling me not to let it ruin my relationships like I have always done in the past. I have been praying to be the change I want to see in the world and this is what you are showing me needs to be done.

UGH

I am mostly ok with this. I still have fear that no matter how nice and loving I am, no matter how happy I am, no matter how successful I am; my father will still lash out like a scared lion. I will do my part. I will invite him in but I will make it clear he has to leave his anger at the door. Maybe I will put up a burden basket for all visitors that come into my home.  

Native American women used burden baskets to hang across the shoulder and leave the hands free, while having a place to keep herbs, berries, twigs for starting fires, and any other of the many things that she might pass during her daily duties, that she would find useful for her family's needs. When she arrived home each day, she would hang the basket by the entrance of their dwelling. If visitors came to visit they waited outside for an "invite", if they were not invited in, they left not offended, but understanding that it was not a good time for a visit. If they were invited in, they were expected to deposit their troubles in the basket so the visit would be pleasant and their conversation would not be clouded with bad feelings.

                                             " Leave Your Troubles at the Door"!!!

I do have questions right now that I hope you send answers for. I had a dream last night. My daughter was crying in the dream. We were lying in bed and she was sobbing. She told me she didn’t think her step dad loved her. I know my daughter (and my son for that matter) have huge hearts. They are being raised by a bunch of addicts and mental illness. I don’t know how to protect them. I don’t know how to keep them happy and healthy.

I am learning how to trust on so many levels. I am learning to let go of fear. I am learning to feel the love in all I do, feel the purpose and see the big picture; but how do I keep my babies safe without being controlling?

I pray for the right words. I pray for the right time. I pray for love to be in control.