Elias and Elise

Hello little ones,




Your life is about to change. Change will always be part of the journey and sometimes it's scary but there is always a reason. This change will make you change your perspective and you  may wind up with a lot of resent toward me. What you need to know is everything I do and have done is to protect you.


I thought about it for a long time and I prayed about it as well. The answer was loud and clear. I'd rather you hate me for a lifetime than live with the burden of The Beast in control of your life for even a second. The decision I had to make was based on actions your father took before we were divorced. I know you want to believe it is in the past and he is changing, getting help but recent activity has proved otherwise. I  don't want to believe that he would ever hurt you but I also never wanted to believe he would do the things he has already done.


I  was ignorant and naïve for 13 years. I turned my back while he did his damage to others and I can not do that again. The risk of not doing anything is far greater than the risk of you turning your back on  me.


If I were to believe you are 100% safe or if there wasn't any possibility of danger. I would never put you though what you are about to go through. The reality is, there is a possibility of danger. I've seen this before. There is no guarantee it won't happen again.


Below is how the exchange of thoughts went:


Stefani,


Obviously, this is a large change in developments. When we filed the initial petition back in 2015, our assumption was that DAVID had committed statutory rape rather than forcible rape. These messages seem to indicate it was actually a forcible rape. It's impossible to rule out the possibility that DAVID might present a risk to the children based on these new messages, so the question is: do you think the children are at risk of harm?


If the answer to that question is no, then the best option is to continue the current path of trying to settle things and return to the status quo.


If the answer is yes, then we need to file a counter-petition to modify parenting time and legal decision-making. If we take that path, we are going to have a huge fight on our hands. You'll need to be prepared to spend months in Court - and thousands of dollars in litigation expenses. Obviously, if you believe the children are at risk, then no amount of money is too much to defend their interests. But if you think DAVID would never molest or harm the children, then what would be goal of petitioning to change parenting time? Vengeance? That wouldn't be an appropriate use of your time and money, nor of the court's resources.


So, do you think DAVID presents a risk of harm to the children?

That’s a really hard question to answer. Of course a mother doesn’t ever want to think her kids are in danger. On the other hand I never wanted to believe he was capable of doing the things he has already done.

Can we talk to the detective that originally spoke to NOLA?


You need to understand none of this has ever been about vengeance.
I believe you think because I bring up his affairs that I am hurt. I am not. For this first time in my life I feel safe. Even the divorce was not about vengeance or adultery it was about my safety and finally being strong enough to leave. The order of protection was about fear not vengeance. I still fear him. I believe my sister has the right idea below about what he is capable of.

“D and I thought long and hard about this. We don't believe DAVID  is a risk to OUR kids. DAVID is very concerned with what people think about him and there is always some group that will give him a high-five for fucking a young non-relative. He will be ostracized from all decent society for incest and he can't bear that. This is, of course, dependent on him staying clean. If he stays clean he will keep the underbelly away from his home life. If he doesn't stay clean he will have no access to L and you should do all you can to keep him away from your kids.

IMO, C and A are not at risk as their parents will never let them sleep over his house or be alone with him. S. G. is another story. She has the "right" background and R may let her stay there as a teenager.”

What kind of proof or evidence do we have besides her messages? Would we have to convince NOLA to go to court? Why would the courts believe my fear instead of “vengeance”?

You ask “do you think DAVID presents a risk of harm to the children?”

The answer is, I always think the potential is there. I don’t believe he is strong enough to fight his demons.

My hope for you, my children, is that no matter the outcome you are happy and safe.

A lot has changed since I first started this entry. The changes occurred in what the lawyers say they can and can't do. I have learned through these changes that my only control is what I choose to teach you. What I choose to show you. I have learned I can not save the world and I certainly can't save Nola, no matter how often she asks me to. I will do my best to protect you but I can not shelter you. I will always fight for you and teach  you your value and worth. My wings are the lessons and the self love I have acquired through my journey. It is up to you to choose your journey.